my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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