in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I wish I only lived at night.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
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Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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