she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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