By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
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She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
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Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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