hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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