I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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