I wanna bring you to show and tell
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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