Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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