Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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