dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
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Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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