was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
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I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
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Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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