Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!

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  (303): I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh! http://tfl.nu/2rr5
  Replies (1) Good night (549) Bad night (1205) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Wasn't she moving abroad?

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Are you really going to debate this?

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  (419): She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye (319): Wasn't she moving abroad? (419): Are you really going to debate this? http://tfl.nu/djv0
  Replies (85) Good night (1471) Bad night (5406)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job

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  (703): He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job http://tfl.nu/934s
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.

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  (612): Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore. http://tfl.nu/3jmh
  Replies (15) Good night (4361) Bad night (1212) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.

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  (910): I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about. http://tfl.nu/tvk3
  Replies (4) Good night (3890) Bad night (762) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work

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  (816): Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work http://tfl.nu/ppy0
  Replies (16) Good night (1604) Bad night (3583) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas

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  (757): i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas http://tfl.nu/kf1k
  Replies (13) Good night (2915) Bad night (799) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet

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  (619): im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet http://tfl.nu/up6c
  Replies (5) Good night (793) Bad night (1814) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?

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  (614): I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening? http://tfl.nu/furs
  Replies (18) Good night (1457) Bad night (1520) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.

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  (608): Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day. http://tfl.nu/sglt
  Replies (2) Good night (1497) Bad night (561)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.

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  (724): I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed. http://tfl.nu/6i3f
  Replies (4) Good night (1035) Bad night (392) Order T-Shirt
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.

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  (705): I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka. http://tfl.nu/tvfv
  Replies (10) Good night (1063) Bad night (440) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.

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  (561): The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED. http://tfl.nu/purq
  Replies (4) Good night (1034) Bad night (580) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.

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  (207): HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health. http://tfl.nu/zxtp
  Replies (9) Good night (1013) Bad night (272) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.

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  (+44): Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection. http://tfl.nu/1vl5
  Replies (9) Good night (705) Bad night (185)

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