dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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