Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize