fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize