On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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