You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize