Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize