Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize