how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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