If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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