it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
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Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
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i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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