3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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