Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize