Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize