is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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