I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize