just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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