just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize