i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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