Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize