Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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