Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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