I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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