So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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