He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
she told me i tasted like america
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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