When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize