did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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