i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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