Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
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My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
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If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
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