cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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