I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize