This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize