My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize