I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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