i permit you to call me
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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