i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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