end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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