My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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