all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize